Massage Therapy: Relaxing the Relationship Knots

For me this episode was about the bigger hidden issues in relationships and the means by which people avoid them due to unforeseen ramifications.

Let me start with the patient of the week and her husband. Here we have Jenny aka Margaret. She is a woman who is hiding her underlying condition by piling lie upon lie in order to protect her husband from the truth…the fact that she is schizophrenic. She lies about her real name not only to her doctors but to her husband as well. She lies about past injuries citing that they were the result of injuries sustained in a biking accident. Then, to make excuses for those lies, she explains that she went to Trenton to a support group for abused victims. Additionally, the team thinks that she might be sick because she told them and her husband that her ex broke in and poisoned her dog. What’s the result? Her current husband tracks down who he believes to be her ex-husband and confronts him only to get beaten to a pulp. He tries to play the strong good guy. Yet in the end, thanks to a little push from House, Jenny tells her husband the truth which is that she is schizophrenic. All of the ailments that brought her to PPTH were adverse reactions from her psych meds. All of a sudden the husband’s bravado is reduced to a pile of fear, as he feels he doesn’t think he can handle this newfound information about his wife. He tells House that it’s too hard and that she isn’t the same woman he married. What was interesting was the way House essentially told him that she is the same woman. The only thing that has changed is that now he’s aware that she has a serious mental health problem. Other than that she is fundamentally the same person.

Why does something that she’s had for some time, but kept under control, suddenly change things for this husband? Jenny wanted to keep him in the dark. Would he have been better off not knowing? Suddenly, this husband’s view of his relationship has changed only because something new was added to his comfortable marital equation. Sure, it’s easy to live to through the small relationships issues and skirt around them. But dealing with the bigger issues, well then all of a sudden some people become cowards because they are afraid of confronting the issue in the first place. As a result, a person gives up and runs away from the bigger issues because it’s easier than facing them. Call it avoidance or holding back or whatever you wish. The fact remains that relationships take work and aren’t always a walk in the park. That’s what a partnership is meant to be….work. Interestingly enough, the husband’s reaction led to House’s own epiphany concerning his relationship with Cuddy. But I’ll get to that later.

Jenny and her husband aren’t the only ones holding back. We have our new playboy want to be, Chase, who hires a new female fellow, but avoids the fact that she is leagues below the team, with the reason being that he only wants to sleep with her. As Foreman puts it, Chase was seeing in her resume what he wanted to see. He was avoiding the fact that she didn’t meet the standards of the team, because then it would be easy to bed her. When it becomes clearer that she doesn’t have the smarts for the job, Chase lies too or at least makes her lie for the sake of keeping her on the team and for his pleasure. He helps her out to avoid the bigger issue which is the idea that she cannot pull her weight in this job. And that if he fires her, then he probably won’t be able to have a relationship with her. Instead, he tries to protect his dignity and hers as well. However, this is House’s world. Therefore, protecting either person’s dignity simply isn’t possible without some taunting and ridicule from the master House. What’s interesting is that Dr. Kelly Benedict already feels she doesn’t meet the standards of House’s team after being tested by House. She lets that fact be known to Chase. However, Chase is unwilling to give up. Why? Why can’t Chase just have come out and said he did make a mistake by hiring her. Is he holding back the fact that he was wrong in hiring her, because his personal interest got in the way or Is there a bigger issue here…one that he is holding back? Who knows? Maybe Chase’s issue lies in that he cannot balance his personal and professional life without mixing the two. Thus, he’s choosing the easy route by trying to hire someone that can fill both voids. Maybe there is even a shadow of fear left over from his break up with Cameron. Maybe he is using the job as an excuse to break things off with a woman to avoid delving into the territory of a real relationship again. Not having that card in his pocket, may make cutting ties harder. Who knows? But it seems Chase will be playing more than soul searching for awhile to avoid the bigger issues plaguing his life.

How does all of this tie into Dr. Gregory House? Well, House and Cuddy have their own issues. It starts out as a simply problem of House hiring a scantily clad hooker he used to sleep with to give him some massage therapy for his leg. As you can imagine, this doesn’t sit well with Cuddy and it shouldn’t. The woman isn’t a licensed professional in the area of therapy and House used to sleep with her. Should Cuddy trust House? Sure. However, past experience may lead Cuddy to still question House’s juvenile actions. It’s a small issue that I think was hiding a much bigger issue. Cuddy still hasn’t been allowing House to stay over at her place or letting him interact with her daughter Rachel. I can’t completely blame Cuddy for this one. After being involved with Lucas for so long, introducing a new man into Rachel’s life has the potential to be confusing. In the same breath, introducing House as a friend to Rachel could easily justify his presence in Cuddy’s life as perhaps Wilson may have been introduced. How can Rachel ever be comfortable with House if Cuddy is keeping her hidden? And as House points out, how can they ever become a serious couple if Cuddy doesn’t let House stay over? Essentially, you’re damned if you and damned if you don’t. Even if something were to go wrong in House and Cuddy’s relationship, it might still be nice to have another male figure around for Rachel even as a friend.

Both House and Cuddy are holding back their bigger issues from each other. House is having a hard time compromising some quirks of his old lifestyle in favor of this blossoming relationship with Cuddy and Cuddy is having a hard time giving in to her protection of Rachel’s innocence. Could both fear the relationship crumbling to a point where each cannot get their life back? It’s possible. Could some of Cuddy’s fears be the result of letting Lucas into Rachel’s life too quickly before realizing things were not truly going to work? I think Cuddy is being more cautious this time, perhaps because she doesn’t know what the future holds with House. For Cuddy giving into her fears of losing House and having to explain House’s absence in her life to Rachel might be a very big burden to bear. The fact that House got her to admit those fears is essential and opened up yet another communication window. For House, I believe his fear is that of the concept of fatherhood. Given his lousy childhood, he may have reservations as to whether or not he can become a good role model for Rachel. The fact that he is open to trying is huge in regards to his relationship with Cuddy. Whether or not he succeeds is another story.

In the end, all three examples had some movement in the relationship. Jenny’s husband put his fears aside and decided to stay with his wife in spite of the difficult task he and his wife have ahead of them. He chose to take the difficult road. Dr. Kelly Benedict decides to quit, because she realizes that she is not the right fit for the team. It actually turns out better for Chase, because Kelly is not keen on dating co-workers anyway. Although Kelly took the initiative, it appears that Chase’s issues may still not be solved. As for House and Cuddy, they reached an understanding. House decided to compromise. He decided to stop using Brandi and start using a real Physical Therapist that Cuddy suggested. In return, Cuddy invited House to stay at her place that night with the idea that he can interact and spend time with Rachel. House and Cuddy were willing to put their fears aside for the sake of their relationship. House and Cuddy too decided to take the difficult road.

Here we come to the thought of the week and the idea that relationships take work and compromise if we wish them to succeed. The question is whether or not we are willing to take that step. If we don’t, then do we go for the easy way out? If one is invested in the relationship, then the answer is easy even if the means to getting there is difficult. What exactly drives us to continue the journey? Is it love and love alone or is it the concept of the challenge itself? We won’t get to see the end to Jenny and her husband’s story. Like last week, we are encouraged to imagine our own end. However, we will continue to see how Chase’s and House and Cuddy’s story continues. Until then we are left to wonder, will Chase be able to balance his personal relationships and work? Will Cuddy continue to put her fear aside and allow Rachel and House to bond? Will House be able to accept his new role in Rachel’s life and be a positive influence in it?

Even though we may not know the complete answers to these questions as of yet, one thing is certain. Each is willing to massage the knots of their relationships in order to smooth out the core of the tension. That is…..until the next knot appears.

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned next week for another installment of Diagnosing House.